Need to get this off my chest.

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Need to get this off my chest.

Post by CHINKERATOR on Tue Feb 10, 2015 6:59 am

Been feeling kinda bummed out over some stuff recently, so I typed this up. It's mellodramatic, but I just needed to post and write this because it makes me feel a bit better. Hopefully it'll ease my nerves and help me reevaluate some stuff.

I don't know why I'm posting this in this thread, but I feel now is the time to say it. Its something I just need to get off my chest and may very well ruin some people's opinions of me. Ive been keeping some things under wraps, I've been going without talking about the fact that I have the secrets in me for a long time, but RT thinking people hated him for talking about things nobody cared about got me thinking.

I could've been the same as him or room, posting about a whole bunch of weird things nobody cared about, but yet I've gone this long without saying anything. I keep this info under wraps because I know I would be persecuted, and that no one would want to hear it on here. I keep it under wraps because it is part of my own mentality that I do not like. But, I never posted these things, so people have remained with good opinions of me.

Whenever I first came to OTX (after I was done being a ROT kiddo, the time I was converted out of that) I believed that who I was online should differ from who I am in reality. This is part of the reason I never uploaded any photos to the ROT imgur gallery, and the reason I made spider luchador. As I kept posting and as the Internet became a larger part of my life, the line between link63 and the real me started to blur, and my style of posting changed to reflect that. A lot has changed in me, both bad and good change, since when I first joined.

I feel more lonely now than when I first joined, mainly due to realizing that just because someone says they like me doesn't mean they actually do (wish I would've realized it sooner). I'm starting to realize that if I continue the way I'm going, I'll end up being a disgusting NEET  like Ammy or something. I feel more distant from my real life friends than ever, and leading the lie that I am completely normal and I'm not a weeabo is starting to lead to problems.

Anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest. The past few days I've felt awful, and knew that I needed to at least come out in some way. If anyone wishes to pursue me on what I'm hiding, or anything like that, just know that I'm not going to seize information unless I want to. I kinda hope RT blows up this forum or something, because that'd seal the deal on everything.


"Let's pull a Michael Jackson and Beat it" - Unnamed Disco Thugs

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