the tomoquois/thunderdumb guide to US elections: 2.1k edition

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the tomoquois/thunderdumb guide to US elections: 2.1k edition

Post by quality on Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:34 pm

2032 - 56:

2032 ELECTION MAP



FINAL TALLY IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE:
JOHNNY THUNDER AND THE DEMOCRATS - 151
ANDREW FREEDMAN AND THE REPUBLICANS - 63
JAMES DOME AND THE FREEDOM PARTY - 63
MR. GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT - 143
ZAC MAC AND THE SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 118

JOHHNY THUNDER, AMERICAN PATRIOT AND HIGH LEADER OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY BARELY WINS IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE, BY SWEEPING PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE WESTERN UNITED STATES AND WINNING IN MAINE AND VIRGINIA SOMEHOW. HOWEVER, IN CLOSE SECOND IS THE PARTI GOAT, RUN BY THE EPONYMOUS GOAT. THEY TAKE 143 ELECTORAL VOTES, THE ENTIRETY OF NEW ENGLAND MINUS MAINE, AND THE DUO OF TEXAS AND OKLAHOMA. ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY TAKES MOST OF THE DEEP SOUTH, WHICH LEAVES SCARPS FOR JAMES DOME AND ANDREW FREEDMAN, WHO TAKE THE MIDWEST AND ITS RELATIVELY FEW ELECTORAL VOTES.

SINCE NOBODY RECEIVED THE ABSOLUTE MAJORITY REQUIRED, THE ELECTION WENT TO THE HoR, WHERE THE DEMOCRATS UNDER JOHHNY THUNDER WERE ELECTED AGAINST THE PARTI GOAT AND ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY.

FINAL TALLY IN THE HoR:
JOHHNY THUNDER AND THE DEMOCRATS: 28
MR. GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT: 12
ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY: 10

2036 ELECTION



FINAL TALLY IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE:
JOHNNY THUNDER AND THE DEMOCRATS - 160
JAMES DOME AND THE FREEDOM PARTY - 101
MR. GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT - 103
ZAC MAC AND THE SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 174

ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY LEAD THE WAY THE WHOLE TIME, TAKING 174 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES IN THE 2036 ELECTION. TAKING THE WHOLE SOUTH WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ALABAMA (FELL TO PARTI GOAT) AND GAINING TEXAS, THEY MADE MAJOR GAINS ON THE OTHER PARTIES FROM 2032. JOHNNY THUNDER'S DEMOCRATS ALSO MADE GAINS, BUT THEIRS WERE NOT AS LARGE, AND THE DEMOCRATS CAME IN SECOND. THE PARTI GOAT AND THE FREEDOM PARTY OF JAMES DOME FELL ALMOST EVEN IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE, TAKING 103 AND 101 VOTES RESPECTIVELY. THE FREEDOM PARTY TOOK MOST OF THE GREAT LAKES, AND QUITE A CHUNK OF THE MIDWEST, WHILE THE PARTI GOAT TOOK MOST OF NEW ENGLAND.

BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF MAJORITY ONCE AGAIN, THE ELECTION FELL TO THE HoR AGAIN, WHERE ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY AND JOHNNY THUNDER'S DEMOCRATS SPLIT THE VOTE 24-24-2. THE SUBSEQUENT RE-VOTE SAW THE DEMOCRATS ELECTED ONCE AGAIN BY A VOTE OF 28-22.

FINAL TALLY IN THE HoR:
JOHNNY THUNDER AND THE DEMOCRATS - 24
MR. GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT - 2
ZAC MAC AND THE SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 24

REVOTE:
JOHNNY THUNDER AND THE DEMOCRATS - 28
MR. GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT - 20
ZAC MAC AND THE SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 22

2040 ELECTION



JAMES DOME'S FREEDOM PARTY - 207
MR GOAT AND THE PARTI GOAT - 159
ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 172

AMIDST THE LATEST ROUNDS OF FUCKUPS, ANOTHER ELECTION WENT TO THE HoR, AND SHOCKINGLY, ZAC MAC ENDED UP WINNING, GIVING HIM A TERM IN THE OFFICE.

2044 ELECTION



JAMES DOME'S FREEDOM PARTY - 271
ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 267

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG WHILE, THERE WERE JUST TWO MAJOR PARTIES RUNNING FOR ELECTION DUE TO THE PARTI GOAT COMPLETELY DISINTEGRATING. JAMES DOME WAS GOING FOR HIS FIRST TERM IN OFFICE, WHILE ZAC MAC AND THE ZAC MAC SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY WAS JUST TRYING TO SQEAK IN TO OFFICE ON THE BASIS OF HIS PREVIOUS SUCCESSES. THIS ENDED UP GOING PRETTY WELL FOR HIM, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HE LOST ONE TOO MANY STATES, AND ENDED UP LOSING BY THREE VOTES IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE.

OOPS.

2048 ELECTION



ANDREW FREEDMAN'S FREEDOM PARTY - 233
THE POLITICAL PARTY OF THE ELDER GODS - 146
THE RISING SOUTH PARTY - 107
ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 52

THE 2048 ELECTION TURNED IN TO YET ANOTHER CLUSTERFUCK OF AN ELECTION, AFTER ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY SPLIT AMIDST THE NARROW LOSS IN 2044 DESPITE WINNING ELECTION IN 2040. THE SPLIT BASICALLY OCCURED BECAUSE ZAC MAC'S PARTY COULDN'T GET ELECTED WORTH SHIT, AS SHOWN BY HIS RUNNING IN FOUR ELECTIONS AND WINNING EXACTLY ONE. THE EASTERN SEABOARD STATES WENT THE WAY OF THE RISING SOUTH PARTY, WHILE THE WEST AND GULF STATES STAYED WITH ZAC MAC.

IN THE MIDWEST, FOLLOWING 2044, THERE CAME THE ELDER GOD PARTY RUN BY ONE MAC BURNESTICKY, WHICH PROCEEDED TO SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE. THEY ENDED UP TAKING THE ELECTION BY STORM, AND COMPLETELY FUCKING UP ANY OPPORTUNITY FOR A MAJORITY BY ANYBODY BY TAKING ILLINOIS, INDIANA, AND OHIO. THAT'S ABOUT 50 VOTES -- WHICH WOULD HAVE ENOUGH TO BOOST THE FREEDOM PARTY TO MAJORITY IF THEY'D RETAINED THEM. OF COURSE, THE FREEDOM PARTY KEPT THE REST OF THE IMPORTANT STATES, KEEPING CALIFORNIA'S 55 VOTES, NEW YORK'S 29, AND PENNSYLVANIA'S 20, SO THEY STILL HELD A COMMANDING LEAD IN THE POLLS, BUT STILL.

THE CASE WENT TO THE HoR, AND UNSURPISINGLY, ANDREW FREEDMAN'S FREEDOM PARTY WON OUT BY UNANIMOUS DECISION. PRESUMABLY EVERYONE REALIZED THAT THEY WERE GOING TO WIN AFTER NOTING THE NEAR 100 VOTE DIFFERENCE IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE.

2052 ELECTION



ANDREW FREEDMAN'S FREEDOM PARTY - 219
THE POLITICAL PARTY OF THE ELDER GODS - 135
THE RISING SOUTH PARTY - 78
THE PACIFIC WEST PARTY - 67
ZAC MAC'S SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE PARTY - 39

FREEDMAN'S FREEDOM PARTY WINS BY A PRETTY NICE MARGIN IN HoR YET AGAIN, UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF ANDY'S SUCCESSOR MICK THUNDER, WHO IS THE SON OF FORMER PRESIDENT FROM 2032 TO 2040, JOHNNY THUNDER.

OH YEAH, AND THE WEST IS RISING UP UNDER THE PACIFIC WEST PARTY WHILE THE RISING SOUTH AND ZAC MAC'S PARTY ARE BOTH GOING THE WAY OF THE DINOSAUR, TOO.

2056 ELECTION



THE POLITICAL PARTY OF THE ELDER GODS - 182
THE PACIFIC WEST PARTY - 173
MICK THUNDER'S FREEDOM PARTY - 165

THE WEST SURGES FORWARD, AND THE ELDER GODS WRAP UP WHAT'S LEFT OF THE SOUTH. THE GULF STATES AND THE MIDDLE SEABOARD MAKE A BLOC VOTE FOR MICK, WHILE WEST VIRGINIA GOES THE WAY OF PACIFIC WEST, AND THE LOWER EAST GOES ELDER. THE END RESULT IS THE CLOSEST ELECTION SINCE 2044. HOWEVER, BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE FUCKING WESTERN STATES IN THE BLUE THERE (AND WEST VIRGINIA!) "PRES" MADAGASCAR OF THE PACIFIC WEST PARTY GETS ELECTED IN ON HoR VOTES.

2056 - 2100:

NORTHEAST COALITION - 11
NORTHEAST PARTY - 11
PATRIOT PARTY - 38
LAKES PARTY - 44
FREE PARTY - 77
GULF BLOCK - 52
ELDER GODS - 74
PACIFIC WEST - 231


ELDER GODS - 40
PEOPLE'S PARTY - 119
PATRIOT PARTY - 98
NORHEAST PARTY - 29
AMERICAN PARTY - 252


ELDER GODS - 8
PEOPLE'S PARTY - 110
PATRIOT PARTY - 131
NORHEAST PARTY - 43
AMERICAN PARTY - 246


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 86
PATRIOT PARTY - 107
NORHEAST PARTY - 82
AMERICAN PARTY - 263


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 75
PATRIOT PARTY - 160
NORHEAST PARTY - 78
AMERICAN PARTY - 225


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 95
PATRIOT PARTY - 81
NORHEAST PARTY - 106
AMERICAN PARTY - 256


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 20
PATRIOT PARTY - 88
NORHEAST PARTY - 105
AMERICAN PARTY - 230
NEW LAKES PARTY - 95


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 29
PATRIOT PARTY - 60
NORHEAST PARTY - 124
AMERICAN PARTY - 271
NEW LAKES PARTY - 54


PEOPLE'S PARTY - 26
PATRIOT PARTY - 38
NORHEAST PARTY - 171
AMERICAN PARTY - 272
NEW LAKES PARTY - 31


NORHEAST PARTY - 151
AMERICAN PARTY - 338
NEW LAKES PARTY - 49


NORHEAST PARTY - 115
AMERICAN PARTY - 348
NEW LAKES PARTY - 75

_________________
YOU CAN'T FIGHT THIS

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Re: the tomoquois/thunderdumb guide to US elections: 2.1k edition

Post by minty on Tue Apr 28, 2015 6:25 pm

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